Sunday Firesides: Love Endures
When a tragedy — a severe accident, an sudden demise — befalls somebody, family and friends shortly spring into motion. Emergency room lobbies are crowded with guests; hospital rooms are crammed with flowers; mailboxes are filled with sympathy playing cards; doorsteps are laden with meals.
It’s arduous for family members not to consider the sufferer and their household throughout this time. Adrenaline activated by the risk spurs alertness. Dopamine generated by the novelty of the occasion creates, although it could sound grotesque to say so, pleasure. Such chemical substances lend onlookers instinctual focus.
However over the subsequent few weeks, this reflexive consideration will wane. As individuals’s worlds proceed to spin precisely as they all the time have — college, work, the countless go-rounds of unusual routine — it turns into arduous to understand that the lifetime of the bereft stays riven from its axis.
The flowers wilt. Rooms, mailboxes, doorsteps empty.
Satirically, although the care paid the sufferer diminishes over time, his want for such consideration truly grows. As soon as the frenzy of practicalities attendant to coping with a loss abate, as soon as the anesthetizing results of melancholy carry, it’s then that he should face the total ache and penalties of his modified circumstances. Although his want for companionship, for compassion, has by no means been extra acute, it’s then that it has by no means been extra scarce.
It’s nice to mobilize and encircle the wounded in the intervening time a tragedy strikes. However it’s even higher to proceed to examine in with them within the months, and years, to come back.
Love isn’t a visceral battle or flight response. The form of love that makes us uniquely human goes fairly a distance past that.
Love doesn’t require exterior prompts to behave.
Love acknowledges that how one’s personal life goes isn’t indicative of how another person’s is.