Podcast #702: One Man’s Unattainable Quest — To Make Mates in Maturity
A number of years in the past, there was a tweet that went viral which mentioned that of Jesus’ many miracles, maybe his biggest, was having 12 shut buddies in his 30s.
As folks say, it’s humorous, as a result of it’s true.
When my visitor at present got here face-to-face with the anemic state of his personal friendships, he got down to attempt to do the miraculous himself, and make buddies in middle-age. His title is Billy Baker and he’s a journalist and the creator of We Have to Hold Out: A Memoir of Making Mates. Billy and I start our dialog with the issue of male loneliness within the fashionable age, and the way it befell him in his personal life. We then focus on how women and men do friendships in another way, the best way males do theirs shoulder to shoulder, what this implies for what male friendships have to be constructed round, and why they require what he calls “velvet hooks.” Billy shares how he began his undertaking, which experimented with alternative ways to get better and create connections, by rekindling his previous friendships, however why that finally didn’t scratch the friendship itch for him. Billy then describes what did: a form of informal fraternity for middle-aged males he began, and the way it was impressed by one thing known as the “males’s shed” motion in Australia and its philosophy that males want “someplace to go, one thing to do, and somebody to speak to.” We finish our dialog with Billy’s takeaways for making buddies in maturity, together with the necessity for embracing intentionality and social danger.
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- Why are males so inclined to loneliness?
- What are the well being penalties of loneliness?
- Head to head versus shoulder to shoulder
- What are “velvet hooks”?
- Why re-kindling previous friendships didn’t absolutely scratch the friendship itch
- Why the Males’s Shed Motion impressed Billy to make some precise buddies
- How COVID managed to strengthen friendships
- The stress of making an attempt to be buddies with each halves of a pair
- What’s the actionable takeaway right here for guys?
Sources/Articles/Individuals Talked about in Podcast
- The Hidden Tragedy of Male Loneliness
- Discovering Connection in a Lonely World
- The Greatest Option to Make and Maintain Friendships in Maturity
- Understanding the Great, Irritating Dynamic of Friendship
- Understanding Male Friendships
- Making and Retaining Friendships
- The Historical past and Nature of Male Friendships
- Bosom Buddies: A Photograph Historical past of Male Affection
- Constructing Your Band of Brothers
- “The Greatest Menace Dealing with Center-Aged Males” — Billy’s unique article that went viral
- The Joys and Difficulties of Making Friendships in Maturity
- Males’s Shed Affiliation
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